Cooking's So Hard
Overview[edit]
Cooking's So Hard is the sixth solo audio drama that was released alongside Beelzebub's character song Hungry Six-Pack on January 25th, 2021.
Transcript[edit]
Beelzebub: Lucifer, it looks like it's our turn to cook dinner.
Lucifer: So it is.
Beelzebub: I want everyone to try something I've been really into recently. So I was thinking of making of shadow goose meat and egg lasagna.
Lucifer: Mmhm, good idea.
Beelzebub: First we need to make the sauce. Place onions, mince, and tomatoes in the frying pan. Then add stock, salt, pepper, and sugar while stirring.
Lucifer: Okay, You're doing well.
Beelzebub: Okay, now to try it. *glug* *nom* *nom* Hmm...Err... I'm still not sure... I'll try some more. *glug* *glug* *glug*
Lucifer: You're taste testing straight from the frying pan?
Beelzebub: Hmm, I think I need to try some more. *glug*
Lucifer: That's a big taste test.
Beelzebub: All right.
Lucifer: Do you have a better idea of the flavor yet?
Beelzebub: One more taste.
Lucifer: Another?!
Beelzebub: *glug* *glug* *glug* *glug* *glug*
Lucifer: Are you sure you're not just drinking the sauce?
Beelzebub: Okay, this should be all right! It's perfect!
Lucifer: Congratulations on figuring out the flavor. However, the sauce, it's all gone.
Beelzebub: What?!
Lucifer: Maybe that was one too many taste tests.
Beelzebub: I just wanted everyone to enjoy something that was truly delicious.
Lucifer: Your heart is in the right place but...
Beelzebub: Let's make it one more time. First, onion, mince, and tomatoes in the frying pan. Then stock, salt, pepper, and sugar while stirring.
Lucifer: Okay. You're doing well.
Beelzebub: Okay, one little tast- *glug* *glug* *glug*
Lucifer: Straight from the frying pan again...
Beelzebub: *glug*
Lucifer: This one's long.
Beelzebub: *gulp*
Lucifer: I-I'm sure that's enough. I-I think you can stop now. That's way too many big of a taste. Isn't it hot?! Wait, wait. Hold on. Give it a break. Stop!
Beelzebub: Aaaaaah!
Lucifer: You drank it all...
Beelzebub: Pheeeew! Time for another.
Lucifer: Hey...
Beelzebub: Oh, sorry. You wanted a taste too, didn't you Lucifer?
Lucifer: No, that's not at all it! We're not going to get past making the sauce at this rate!
Beelzebub: Right... The goal is to make a lasagna... *munch* This time, I'll cut back on how much I try.
Lucifer: You say as you literally bite into one of the onions! You're appetite is as terrifying as ever.
Beelzebub: *munch* I seriously want to make everyone something nice to eat. *munch* *munch* This is good *munch* *munch*
Lucifer: Okay, I've got it. I'll watch over your taste tests.
Beelzebub: Does that mean you'll test my taste tests?
Lucifer: Yes, this will be a "taste test test."
Beelzebub: Got it. But you've got to let me investigate whether this "taste test test" is fair or not.
Lucifer: So you're going to test my "taste test test"?
Beelzebub: Yes, it will be "taste test test test".
Lucifer: Sounds fair enough.
Beelzebub: Okay, let's make the sauce. Frying pan, onion, mince, tomato. Stock, salt, pepper, sugar, stir.
Lucifer: Okay you're doing well.
Beelzebub: Here I go. I'm taking the ladle and tasting the sauce.
Lucifer: "Taste test test" — start! First, this ladle is way too big! Use this spoon.
Beelzebub: "Taste test test test" — launch! That spoon is way too small! I'm using this spoon.
Lucifer: "Taste test test test test" — is a go! THAT spoon is way too big! It's basically another ladle! Use this spoon.
Beelzebub: "Taste test test test test test" — initiated!
Leviathan: UUUUM!
Beelzebub: Levi...
Leviathan: Is dinner ready yet? We're starving out here.
Lucifer: Sorry to keep you waiting.
Beelzebub: We'll get right into it!
Leviathan: I, uh, okay whatever I guess.
Beelzebub: I'll make enough for everyone to taste test!
Leviathan: Give us dinner, not taste test!
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